I See Color

Every night before I go to bed, I find it absolutely necessary to scroll through the Discover page on Snapchat.  My favorite articles are usually found in Buzzfeed, People, Cosmopolitan, or Refinery 29.  While flipping through last night, I came across an article that directly related to this class, and to a topic we have discussed quite a lot.  This page (found in Refinery 29) was titled “Here’s What NOT to Say to Interracial Couples”.

One of my very best friends (who is white) dates a black guy, and a lot of my friends and I joke around with her, saying that she’s more attracted to men of color than the rest of us.  A girl in this article dealt with a similar situation, saying that she was tired of people always joking with her, commenting things such as, “Oh, Black guys are totally your type, huh?”  She claims that her relationship is not just about the color of her boyfriend’s skin, but instead about his personality traits, values, etc.  While I agree that she has a point, to go to the extent of calling this remark racist doesn’t quite make sense to me.

It is a psychological fact that humans make judgements based on appearances.  In addition, humans tend to fall for those who they consider to be of “equal attractiveness” as them.  Therefore, this girl is wrong in saying that physicality plays no role whatsoever in her relationship.  Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with someone having a “type” of guy or girl they like to date.  My friends often tease me that both of my two serious boyfriends I’ve ever had were blonde-haired, blue-eyed, with the Macklemore haircut.  It doesn’t bother me, and instead I find it quite comical.

This makes me think back to McKenna’s post from a couple of weeks ago, discussing the sociology behind race, and how it is a man-made concept.  What if people decided to discriminate based on hair color and style?  Would my friends teasing me for the boys I choose to date then be considered racist?  I think it is important to distinguish between comments that are harmful and those that simply state a fact: That girl’s boyfriend is black, and she has a history of dating black people.  We cannot treat the issue of color as if it is a taboo.  We are allowed to talk about it, and sometimes, I think people are too afraid.  I see color – we all do – and that is okay.

Take Responsibility

As I am sure everyone knows, the United States of America very recently elected Donald Trump as their next president.  With these results came quite a lot of controversy.  Many people claim that Trump is a racist, and those people began to wonder how a racist could possibly be elected as the president of this cultural mixing pot of a country.  Quite a few know-it-alls claimed to have answer: “The minorities didn’t all go out to vote, and that’s how Trump got elected” or “If more of the minorities took the time to place their vote, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Well, I am here to say that it is NOT the minorities fault that Trump was elected president.  As it has been said many times throughout this class, racism is systemic, and therefore, only whites can be racist, as they are the only ones to reap the benefits.  By this definition, therefore, wouldn’t it be the whites’ job to recognize racism and do something about it?  Aren’t they the ones in the positions of power required to make a drastic social change?

It is easy to make the minorities of our country a scapegoat for this election.  However, if someone is truly upset by the outcome of this presidential election, I would advise them to first look to themselves, and then those other whites who may have voted for Trump, despite the fact he is openly racist.  If they could overlook his blatant racist, and still consciously choose to elect him into a high place of power, they are the reason this election went the way it did.  It is not the minorities fault, regardless of how many or few of them voted last Tuesday.  I think that is an issue that needs to be addressed.  Don’t place blame on easy targets for the conscious decisions made by those in the highest positions of power in this country.

Where Should You Draw the Line?

With every major celebration, event, or holiday comes a vast assortment of controversial articles and opinionated responses on the happenings of the day before.  The most recent holiday, Halloween, was no exception.  On the days following October 31^st, and influx of articles came into circulation discussing discriminatory costumes of celebrities, and even those of some random college students.  Many of these made headline news.

Brock Denton, a student of the University of Central Arkansas, decided to dress up as Bill Cosby at Sigma Tau Gamma’s Halloween party.  Ignorant to the discrimination and racial hate associated with blackface, Denton painted himself with black paint and posted a picture on Instagram of himself and a few of his brothers in their costumes.  The backlash was immediate and intense.

Denton claims to have received threats from people wanting to kill him and burn his house to the ground.  He says he is scared for his life.  Denton was recently expelled from his fraternity and the chapter of Sigma Tau Gamma at UCA was suspended.  If Denton is being honest, if he really was naïve to the true meaning of blackface, is this response from the public really deserved?

Hilary Duff, a household name for many girls born in the 90s, faced a similar backlash for her and her boyfriend’s Halloween costumes this year.  She dressed as a pilgrim, while her beau went as a Native American.  Many responses focused more on him than her, saying that his makeup and headpiece were offensive to Native American culture.  Now, I can understand and respect the issue of blackface more than I can with this one.  Because, who’s to say that his intent wasn’t to celebrate the Native American culture rather than make fun?

This is the issue in our society today.  People think so fast, make judgments so quickly, and jump to conclusions, all without stopping to take a minute to look at the situation and really think before they speak.  I agree that the blackface was an issue, but Denton received what I believe to be a proper punishment for his actions.  Is it really necessary to continue to bombard the child with death threats and insults for a mistake that could have be due to young ignorance?  Either way, he has now learned his lesson, and that is all that matters.

Everyone else can also learn a valuable lesson from these mistakes (as well as the responses to them).  As a society, we need to strive to be more understanding of one another, and less quick to judge.  Sometimes people make mistakes, but that doesn’t make them a bad person, and it doesn’t even make them racist.  Odds are that the people reaming Hilary Duff and Brock Denton have made a few mistakes of their own, so who are they to judge?

I am going to finish with some wise words from Alyson Noel, “There is an old and very wise Native American saying: Every time you point a finger in scorn—there are three remaining fingers pointing right back at you.” 

Works Cited

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/10/31/this-years-offensive-costume-white-college-student-dresses-as-bill-cosby-in-blackface/

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/10/30/hilary-duff-halloween-costume-controversy

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/pointing-fingers

Love is Blind

The concept of "family" here in the United States is an ever-changing, always developing entity.  A couple decades ago, if someone were to ask the question: "What does the average family look like in America?" the answer would have been simple and predictable: "A married mom and dad with a couple of kids, and maybe a pet dog."  However, the current definition of a "family" is no longer so black and white.

One of my all-time favorite TV shows is "The Fosters" on ABC family.  In case you are unfamiliar with it, the show highlights the lives of a bi-racial lesbian couple, and their rag-tag group of kids, made up of a biological white son, adopted Hispanic twins, and two white foster kids.  This description is about as far away as possible from my previous description of an American family.  However, this is becoming a reality in our country today, as people are becoming more accepting of interracial relationships and gay rights.

Because of my love for this show, I actually decided to look into how race affects the foster system and the process of adoption.  While poking around on the internet, I came across a startling fact: In California, if a white family fostering a black child wishes to adopt said child, they must enter a 30-day period in which the adoption agency searches for any black family that would like to adopt that child.  If no such family is found, the white family may follow through with the adoption.  If a black family is found, the black child will be given to them instead.

When I read this law, I immediately felt sick to my stomach.  The show "The Fosters" prides itself on being an accurate representation of the foster system here in America, and it shows that these kids spend a great deal of time being moved from house to house.  My question is this: If a child is in a happy home, where they are loved, wanted, and cherished, why move them from that home solely based on the color of their skin?  Especially if these kids are considered "the lucky ones" if they find a home that is stable and safe?

One of my best friends growing up was adopted, and I remember my 6-year-old self asking my mom, "Don't you think she wonders who her real mom is?"  And, for as long as I live, I will never forget her answer: "She knows her real mom.  Her real mom is the one who tucks her in at night, who drops her off at school every morning, and who covers her scrapes in Band-Aids.  Does she wonder who gave birth to her?  Maybe sometimes, but she knows and is loved by her real mom every single day."

It is time for people to open their eyes and see that color has no effect whatsoever on the ability to show someone love.  Love is blind.  And the word family can mean whatever you want it to mean.


Image came from this website: http://pubfilm.com/the-fosters-2015-season-3-full-10-episode-pubfilm-free.html.

How Are You Remembered?

During welcome week, all of the freshmen were placed into small groups.  My group, consisting of about 10 people, lacked diversity.  It was made up of mostly white people, with just one girl from Argentina, and one Indian boy.  The Indian guy’s name is Suneil, and he is now one of my closest friends.  However, our first interaction would not have indicated in any way that we would become as close as we are now.  Just a day after meeting him, I saw him walking towards our small group’s meeting place.  I jogged to catch up to him, and said, “Hey, it’s Suneil, right?” 

He looked back at me and responded with, “You only remembered my name because I’m the only brown guy in our group, right?”

I just stopped walking and looked at him.  I had absolutely no clue how to respond, and honestly, I was a little offended.  Did he honestly think I only remembered him because of his race?  I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want him to see the confusion on my face, so I just responded with, “Of course that isn’t the only reason I remembered you name!”

And he just laughed and said, “Okay, if you say so.”

Now that I think about it, he was probably right.  And, the fact that I got so defensive just goes to show that what he said was true.  I didn’t intentionally single him out, but my brain subconsciously categorized him into a folder labelled Indian Boy in Small Group, and because he was the only one in that category, I was able to pull his name right out of my brain quite easily.

People claim to be color-blind.  They claim that they don’t see race.  However, every single person does, whether they want to or not.  Instead of pretending that it’s not there, I think the best thing to do is to acknowledge it, and learn how to deal with it.  I freaked out, and I panicked because Suneil’s comment was something I wasn’t used to hearing, and it directly contradicted the “color-blind” society of today’s world.

 I don’t know if I handled the situation in the best way, and I guess I never will know for sure.  Maybe it would have been better to laugh and admit, “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” instead of pretending I was blind to the color of his skin.  I guess all I’m trying to say is that the color of people’s skin is something we can all see, and there is nothing we can do to change that.  However, we should strive to not let that be a factor in the way we categorize and treat people.  We are all human, and we all deserve to be remembered for reasons other than our appearances, but especially for reasons other than the color of our skin.

What's On Your Mind? What's in Your Heart?

Earlier today, I spent a good deal of time catching up with an old friend with whom I haven’t spoken to a long time.  He attends the University of Cincinnati, which was the second college on my list of preferences.  In the course of the conversation, he texts me, “I don’t want you to worry, but I wanted you to hear from me that there is a shooter on my campus.  I’m safe though, in a locked storage closet in the Rec Center.”  Naturally, as the anxiety-ridden person that I am, my heart began to pound, and my mind took off racing.

My mom was skeptical of me attending UC, as it is located right in the heart of downtown Cincinnati, in what many inhabitants of the city refer to as the “ghetto”.  I immediately thought the shooter must be someone from this part of town inhabited by many African Americans and other minorities of the city’s overall population.  However, after a feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach, I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture.  Isn’t it just as likely the shooter is a student at the school?  Or any inhabitant of the city outside of the small ghetto surrounding campus?  So, I decided to fact check myself.

I looked up “school shooting by race” and what I found didn’t shock me at all, based on the finding of this FYS class thus far.  97% of school shooting are perpetrated by males, with 79% of those males being white, often from the upper-middle class.  This just goes to show how quickly our inborn prejudices can force us to jump to misconceptions.  Based on both of these statistics, it is very unlikely that this particular shooter was a minority from the poor part of town, although that was my initial thought.  I am ashamed of the judgement I made.  I am disappointed in my mom’s comment that planted the seeds in my head.

Although her comment most likely meant no racial bias, it led me to misconceptions about minorities that could not be more wrong.  Racism is subtle, and can be seen in our words and actions, of course, but also inside our very minds.  Sometimes, it’s the judgments we make and the things we think that define us most, and I’m ashamed of some of the thoughts that ran through my head today.

I found the statistics on school shootings at: http://www.politicalresearch.org/2014/06/19/mass-shooters-have-a-gender-and-a-race/. 

Racial Makeup (or Lack Thereof)

My roommate and I were sitting in our room talking about the small town up in Michigan where her family has a lake house.  She explained to me that she and her family became curious about the demographics of this tiny Michigan town and decided to look it up.  They discovered that only 411 people were permanent residents of the town.  Naturally, I became curious and decided to look it up as well.  We were both surprised to find that the very first link to pop up was “Racial Demographics”.  I didn’t reference race even remotely in the search browser, but the search engine deemed it important enough not only to mention, but to list very first.

I clicked on the link to find that 0.2% of the population is African American.  Now, if you do the math – which I did – you can see that this means only 0.822 of a person is African American. It’s easy to claim that our world today is more integrated than it used to be.  However, when looking at these facts, it is very hard to deny.  Sure, the world may seem integrated because blacks and whites attend some of the same schools and sometimes shop as the same grocery stores.  But here, in the United States of America, where all men are created equal, there are still towns that are so white not even one full African American lives there.  And I can’t help but be reminded of the days in the past when blacks were counted as only ¾ of a person.  Looking at these statistics, it makes me wonder: how far has America come, really? 

So, this really brought two problems to my mind.  One being that there are towns in this country that are still entirely white.  It was shocking to me to discover this, as I thought those days were long gone.  The second issue is that I have no earthly clue how one could go about fixing this problem.  People fought for a long time to get rid of the laws that forced segregation, which makes me feel as imposing a law forcing integration wouldn’t quite seem right.  But, if people aren’t forced to integrate among races, will it happen naturally?  I think those statistics answer that question for us: no.  Blacks are not actively moving into all-white neighborhoods and towns, just as whites are not actively inhabiting the black parts of town.  What can be done about it?  I don’t know.  But, it is an issue that needs to be addressed.

The link to the website I mentioned can be found here:

http://www.towncharts.com/Michigan/Demographics/Onekama-village-MI-Demographics-data.html